I am alone.
It seems that things are always easier in groups... gangs, tribes, communities etc.
Of course, this is one of the main reasons people crowd into church on Sunday and socialize with their fellow church goers during the week.
I don't really have a church or a group of peers who think the way I do. Sometimes I wish I did. Sometimes I feel this whole process would be easier if I didn't feel so alone in it. Maybe if my partner was as interested in sitting, reading spiritual texts, and contemplating enlightenment as I was it would make it an easier path.
But... then I realized that i actually am alone. It's impossible for anyone to be in my body, mind or spirit. Nobody can really do anything, but sit beside me and even then I am still alone. I suppose it's natural to want people to be like us, think like us and support us in life; everyone loves to feel supported. It's easy to feel lonely, but I think the cure for this might be just acknowledging that we truly are alone.
I think possibly that coming to peace with being alone can bring about an awareness of connectedness in which we are never alone. Just like zen, isn't it? The way to never feel alone is to accept being alone. And... just like zen, easier said than done.
I'm still adjusting to this idea. It's easy for me to feel sad and alone on the spiritual path. But... I think I'm on to something. Maybe.
