THREE - What's in your suitcase?

It's a bit like "what's in your back pack" from Up In the Air. Also, closely related to the skeletons in the closet of your childhood. But, what's in your suitcase is just what you'd expect, baggage. Some baggage we wear like a big colorful hat for all to see. This would be your weight problem, alcohol addiction (sometimes), and dramatic relationship issues.

Inside the suitcase, locked up tight, are the issues that we rarely open up to have a look at. These are things that we wouldn't even recognize upon first inspection. Maybe you get irritated when the mail carrier delivers your mail much later then you think it ought to be delivered? What's that about? On the surface it seems like maybe you feel that the tax dollars spend on the U.S. post should equal a efficient, prompt service. But... if you look long enough maybe it has more to do with stress in your life and the desire to have what you see as a care free job of delivering mail... strolling along on a sunny day, dropping of the post at whatever time you happen to arrive. Or maybe not... but you get the point.

Maybe you're one of these people who has zero baggage; that huge suitcase you are lugging around is completely empty. If so, you really should just set it down and walk away from it; dragging it everywhere is a waste of valuable energy. The rest of us, if we dare, should open it up as often as possible and have a peek. Try to figure out what the heck is in there. I'm not one to give advice on what to do with what you find, but I think just finding it could help you out quite a bit in life.

If someone asked you what kind of baggage you have what would you say? We're not talking about your ex-husband/wife or financial issues. What kind of dysfunction is hiding beneath the surface that you rarely, if ever, look at? It's very easy to agree that "we all have baggage" and then quietly ignore whatever ours might be, never giving it another thought. It's much more fun to examine other people's baggage that you can't believe goes unnoticed when it's RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF THEIR FACE!

So, this is what I'm doing... having a look inside my suitcase. One of my major things seems to be that I want control and order in my life. When something is out of my control it creates all kinds of problems for me. It's much more complex than this, of course, but at the same time it's not. It manifests in many ways. For example, it's creates phobias and anxiety. It can make me into a hypochondriac. What if I get the swine flu or my kids get the swine flu and die? What if it's beyond my control to make them better? Or... I make a plan in my head... I'll go on vacation and have a relaxing time by the pool. If I'm not having a relaxing time by the pool maybe I'll feel depressed that it's not fitting my picture. And on and on... many variations on the theme. I don't want this to be about working out all my issues.. that's for me to sit with.

What to do with the dirty laundry? Well.. wash it! Fix it! Make it better and get away from it as quickly as possible, right? That seems to be the way we are wired, but I have my doubts about that approach. But.. I don't know the answer right now. I'll be sure to let you know if I discover the magic pill that fixes these things.
For now, I'm satisfied with learning to see inside my suitcase and trying to recognize what's inside. Also, taking the next step of trying to put these feelings into words or else just to sit and ponder them. I think the zen approach would be to do nothing and by doing nothing do something. Meaning to just sit with these feelings without trying to fix them. And after that.. sit some more.

That's my plan... I'm sure there are many other paths. I'll let you know how it works out.